Pained Existance
by hanyou-samurai
Summary: Ch. 1: How the Nobodies feel about their existence. Ch. 2: How the Heartless feel about their existence. [If I don't have a heart, why does this existence hurt so much?]
1. Nobody

Inspiratio for this hit me when I was watching an AMV my friend sent to me. It was about the Nobodies, and the song was "Missing" byEvanescence.This song struck me, but to keep in the right mood, I had to watch the AMV three times. This is a oneshot. It could be used for any one of the Organization. Take your pick.

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**Pained Existance**

by hanoyu-samurai

We are the Nobodies. We have no hearts. Why is it that heartless have hearts, but they don't use them? They don't even pretend to use them. We have no hearts, but we pretend to have hearts. Why? What's the point of that? What's the point of our existence? Because of a mistake we made when we were younger, we are forced to live a half-life. Is this our divine punishment?

As the Organization, we play with the strings of destiny. Why are we so insignificant then? If we have so much power, why don't people care about us? I would give anything to be loved. Not as I used to be, but as I am now. If somebody loved me, I wouldn't be able to love them back though. I could pretend. I could pretend as usual. I'm sick of pretending.

Why were we, the ones who could actually use the hearts, the ones without them? If we had hearts, we'd be regular people again. Why can't we just take one from Kingdom Hearts? Does it matter whose heart it is, as long as it's a heart?

Something's missing. It's our hearts. And we're searching for something. Are we searching for our heartless? They're probably destroyed by now. But if they are, wouldn't the heart trapped within them return to the body, making us whole again? That never happened, so I suppose when our heartless were destroyed, our hearts, and our chance at living again, were destroyed along with it.

We're desperately searching for something. What are we searching for? Our long lost hearts? Kingdom Hearts? Or, perhaps, we're searching for one who can make us whole again. Perhaps we're searching for the keybearer. He can destroy us, and then, maybe, hopefully, in the afterlife, we'll meet up with our heartless and become real people again. Maybe.

That is a lost hope. Nobody knows what happens once you die. But we don't die. We can't. We… fade. I hope I fade soon. I can't take this anymore. I have no heart, but I still have a mind. This half-existence is driving me insane. I'm ready to beg somebody to destroy me. I've already lost my heart, and I'm already insane. What's left? What else can be taken away from me? My fake life? I'd gladly give that. There's nothing left for me. Kill me. Destroy me. Make me fade.

If I don't have a heart, why does this existence hurt so much?

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There you go, my depressing story. Review, please! 


	2. Heartless

Well, this **was** a oneshot, but I wanted to do a chapter about the Heartless. Hope you like it!

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Pained Existance

by hanyou-samurai

We have hearts, but we don't use them. Why not? Is it because we like other's pain? No… don't think that's it. I think we've simply forgotten how to use them.

We have hearts, but no souls. Yet, we can still think. Can we feel? Do we want to?

Do we want to admit that we're not perfect beings? Do we want to admit that we are living as much of a half existence as the Nobodies? Why can't a heartless and a Nobody just meet and become a whole person again? Why must we fight each other? Why must it be this painful, this lonely?

We have hearts, but no souls. Why is a soul so important? It is the essence of a person. The part that is rational. The heart is where all the spontaneous decisions come from. I am a heartless, but I can still make decisions that scream against my heart. Like letting the one I love go for their own good.

What good is a soul if you still have to make decisions that hurt?

We have hearts, but can we still use them?

The Nobody's ask why this existence hurts so much. The heartless ask the same question.

Why can those with hearts still not feel?


End file.
